Unpacking Religious Trauma: The Deep and Lasting Effects of Spiritual Abuse
by David Ruybalid
There have been countless times in Christian spaces and churches when I found myself feeling completely dysregulated, yet I had no idea what was happening to me. In those moments, I experienced a mix of panic, isolation, and anger, but what hurt most was how others often viewed me as crazy or out of control. The goal of this post is to help you understand the profound effects of spiritual abuse and how religious trauma impacts both the mind and body. It's about shedding light on how these experiences can shape your emotional and physical responses, often in ways that are misunderstood or ignored.
Understanding Religious Trauma: The Lasting Effects of Spiritual Abuse
Religious trauma is a profound and often overlooked consequence of spiritual abuse. When religious environments become sources of manipulation, coercion, or fear, they leave deep psychological wounds that can persist long after an individual has left the abusive setting. Understanding how the body and mind respond to spiritual abuse can help survivors recognize religious trauma and take steps toward healing.
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The Physiological Impact of Religious Trauma
Religious trauma, like other forms of trauma, triggers the body's stress response system. Survivors often experience fight, flight, freeze, or fawn reactions as their nervous systems attempt to cope with the perceived threat.
Fight: Pushing back against religious authority figures, questioning doctrine, or expressing anger about past experiences.
Flight: Leaving religious spaces altogether, avoiding discussions about faith, or distancing from former religious communities.
Freeze: Feeling paralyzed by fear, unable to make decisions about belief, or stuck in cycles of self-doubt.
Fawn: Overcompliance with religious leaders, suppressing doubts to maintain approval, or struggling with people-pleasing behaviors.
Chronic exposure to spiritual abuse and religious trauma can lead to lasting physiological distress, making it difficult for survivors to feel safe in their own bodies.
Gut Feelings and Intuition as Trauma Responses
One of the earliest signs of religious trauma is an internal sense that something is wrong. Survivors often recall experiencing gut feelings of unease in religious settings. These sensations—stomach knots, nausea, or tension—are the body’s way of signaling danger. However, many survivors were taught to ignore these feelings, leading to a deep sense of disconnection from their intuition.
Over time, dismissing these bodily warnings can result in difficulty trusting oneself, increased anxiety, and a persistent fear of making the “wrong” decision—especially in areas related to faith and morality.
The Physical Toll of Religious Trauma
Religious trauma does not remain confined to the mind; it often manifests physically. Many survivors report somatic symptoms that reflect the emotional toll of their experiences, including:
Chronic fatigue and exhaustion
Headaches and migraines
Gastrointestinal issues such as nausea or irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
Muscle tension and unexplained body aches
These symptoms are not imagined or exaggerated; they are the body’s response to prolonged emotional and psychological distress. Recognizing these physical manifestations is a crucial step in acknowledging and addressing religious trauma.
Nervous System Dysregulation and the Effects of Gaslighting
Spiritual abuse often involves gaslighting, a manipulative tactic that causes individuals to doubt their own perception of reality. This leads to nervous system dysregulation, where survivors fluctuate between two extreme states:
Hypervigilance (sympathetic overdrive): Anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, and a persistent sense of being “on edge.”
Shutdown (dorsal vagal response): Emotional numbness, dissociation, depression, and a feeling of helplessness.
This dysregulation makes it difficult to trust one’s own experiences, leading to confusion, guilt, and deep-seated fear about questioning religious teachings.
Memory Fragmentation and Trauma Triggers
When fear and shame are used as tools of control, the brain may process religious experiences as traumatic events. This can lead to memory fragmentation, in which experiences are stored in disjointed pieces rather than as coherent narratives. Survivors often report:
Flashbacks to religious teachings or traumatic events
Intrusive thoughts about past religious experiences
Emotional distress triggered by religious symbols, songs, or language
These trauma responses can make it incredibly difficult to engage in faith-based discussions, attend religious gatherings, or even explore personal beliefs without feeling overwhelming anxiety or distress. I've been triggered by seemingly harmless things—like hearing a song in Hobby Lobby or finding myself in conversations with people who remind me of specific individuals from my childhood church. Certain environments, too, can trigger memories of the church I was raised in, stirring up intense emotional reactions that I often struggle to navigate.
The Impact on Relationships and Attachment
Religious trauma deeply affects how survivors relate to others. Many experience relational avoidance, withdrawing from social interactions due to fear of being judged, shamed, or harmed again. Others may develop over-attachment, seeking constant reassurance and struggling with deep fears of abandonment.
These responses are the result of trauma’s impact on attachment systems, making it challenging to form secure relationships. Survivors may struggle to trust authority figures, set boundaries, or engage in healthy spiritual exploration without fear of rejection or punishment.
The Path to Healing from Religious Trauma
Healing from religious trauma requires acknowledging the body’s wisdom and processing the harm that was experienced. While the effects of spiritual abuse can be profound, survivors have the capacity to reclaim safety, trust, and self-worth. Key steps in healing include:
Therapy: Trauma-informed therapy can help survivors process their experiences and unlearn harmful beliefs.
Somatic Practices: Mindfulness, breathwork, and movement-based therapies can help regulate the nervous system and restore a sense of bodily safety.
Community Support: Connecting with others who have experienced religious trauma provides validation, encouragement, and solidarity in the healing journey.
Trauma-Informed Faith Practices: For those who still desire a spiritual connection, engaging in faith practices that emphasize safety, consent, embodiment, and autonomy can be transformative.
Religious trauma is real, and its effects are far-reaching. But survivors are not alone. By listening to their bodies, honoring their lived experiences, and seeking support, they can break free from the lingering grip of spiritual abuse and move toward wholeness.
David Ruybalid is a co-founder of the Religious Trauma Network.
This article was originally published at davidruybalid.substack.com.
This article is not intended to treat or diagnose any condition. David is not a licensed therapist or clinician. Any advice or opinions given on this site are strictly individual observation and insights based on personal experiences and study. It should in no way take the place of professional assistance.